story - part 22 - party three - 1383 words

I am alone for a few minutes, the party whirring around me, the conversation getting louder and more energetic as people consume more wine and more food. I linger, instead of ducking immediately out the door, because Calidris is still watching me. If I make any move, she will be back in a second to stop me, to drag me back down into a chair for more conversation. She really wants me here tonight, for some reason.

Just as she is looking away, just as I have the opportunity to dart for the door and away from this mess, a quiet hand settles on my shoulder and the Prince sinks down to sit beside me. He is smiling a wide smile, but there is something tense and strained about it. He has an air of forced civility about him; he is restraining himself, there is something nasty and angry buried below the surface.

"Raven? You did not tell me you would be here, tonight." Absentminded conversation, but I can taste the accusation beneath the words. It is frustrating, it makes me want to put him in his place. I do not have to tell him my plans, I have every right to keep my secrets. I can feel my lips pressing into a tight line and am careful to keep my own tone neutral, not to look him in the eye.

"I was not sure I was coming." Mostly true. True enough that I am not lying. I stare moodily out at Calidris on the dance floor, watching her laugh at something her partner says and settle into a spin beside him. Despite all my arguing that I do not dance, abruptly I wish I were out there with her.

I can feel Tumaire's eyes on me, I can feel the way he shifts in his chair, the way he fights for words. We have never had long conversations, or any conversations outside of his lessons and midnight visits to soothe away pain, to put him to sleep. We have no common ground, that he knows of, and nothing to share.

"Who is that woman?" Tone starting to settle into something familiar. It takes me a moment to register the emotion: jealousy. A slow, startled blink and I look in his direction - now he is staring away from me, out at the dance floor, where Calidris has paused to fix her skirts before the next dance, looking flushed and excited and beautiful.

"You should know, my Prince. Lady Calidris is one of the wealthiest and most influential of your nobles, someone you most definitely want as an ally." Not quite able to keep a condescending edge out of my voice. I do not like the way he is meddling in my personal affairs.

Another moment passes between us. His cheeks have gone red, though I cannot tell if it is from anger or from embarrassment. He would quite like to chastise me, to put me in my place, but knows very well that I am right. It only makes things that much worse. Finally he shifts in place, lips now set into a tight line, and glowers at me.

"You were talking about me, with her. I could tell, I could see you. What were you saying?" Thin arms fold across his chest, smoothing his over shirt down into place. It is blue; it is the one I dragged out of his closet, it is the one I told him to wear. This is not entirely reassuring, I do not know why it worries me.

"She inquired as to your health." Blinking away, out onto the dance floor. The dancing has paused for a moment, but Calidris is not returning to the table. I want her desperately back here, to save me from this line of questioning, but instead she settles down beside her dance partner, still chattering quickly and excitedly. She is having more fun with him than she had with me.

"And? And what did you tell her, Raven." Exasperated, as if I am the petulant child and he calm and in control of himself. As if he has a right to know every detail about me, as if I am not allowed to have a life outside of his hands.

"The truth." No more. I cannot sit here for any longer without snapping at him, or smacking him again. He never changes. He is sixteen, but he still acts twelve. I wonder if he will ever grow up.

I push myself out of my chair, wincing slightly at that dull ache between my shoulders and down my spine. Perhaps it is not something physical, but an edge of memory, a symptom of thinking too much. Either way, I am sure sleep would make it go away, a long night's rest and time.

"You are avoiding giving me a straight answer. Did you tell her something you should not have? Or...or were you talking about something else entirely?" He is on his feet in a second, starting to reach for my arm to pull me back, but obviously thinking better of it. Instead fingers clutch into fists at his sides, voice rising just a hair.

"Where are you going? Stay." Accented with a little stomp of his foot. He is loud enough to attract the eyes of a few neighbors, but still personal enough that it does not capture the attention of the whole room. Some part of me wants to keep this from turning into a scene, but mostly I rebel at that sharp order.

"No. I am going to go back to my rooms. I am not a peasant, nor am I a dog, I will not obey idiotic and juvenile orders from a spoiled young prince." Soft and hissing, for his ears only. I would take a step closer, I would intimidate him into backing down, except that there are still several pairs of eyes on us. It is bad enough that he pales and then flushes, fumbles for a retort.

I have half-turned away from him when he finally recovers, I have taken a step away toward the door. I can feel his hand settle against my side, fingers catching up in the cloth of my cloak, an attempt to pull me back, and something snaps inside of me. I cannot explain what comes over me. I know that I must turn back to face him, to keep that cloak on my shoulders and my secret my own.

I am winning, right now. I have power, in my hands. I have Lady Calidris on my side of things, she is my ally. I am to be the Prince's teacher, I can carefully explain to him the difference between the way things always have been done and the way they should be done. I have knowledge of the King's treason as a tool, should I ever need it. Things are all going the way I wanted them to, everything is right.

But there is that something snapping. Instead of pivoting back around to face him and bearing the brunt of that temper, I let the cloth slide away into his hands. Cool air shivers over broken feathers and bent bones; the sight steals words out of his mouth and turns his expression to something stunned, shocked and silent.

There are too many eyes upon us, now. A young couple off to one side, curious and wide-eyed. Calidris's attention has shifted back onto us, her expression one of concern, she has half-raised out of her chair. A blur of nobles and rich cloths. And Corbin, the King and my father, focuses the brunt of his lingering anger and frustration on me. I will have to pay for this dearly. I wonder if he recognizes me.

It takes me a while to register that things have kicked into motion, that there is noise all around me. A buzz of conversation, a betrayed young Prince. Lady Calidris struggling to get across the room to help me, but it is impossible. A hand clamps down on my elbow and I realize I have had far too much wine, that I ache too much, that it is too hot in here. Everything fades out into an explosion of stars.