story - part 30 - bare - 1049 words

Waiting again. It seems that I am always waiting, these days, that nothing happens quickly or easily. I am left in a cold and bare room under the silent gaze of that guard. She does not look like she is interested in conversation, so I do not try to initiate any.

I do not like being left to my thoughts and my memories. I do not like having old wounds reopened, having to explain actions that I never truly understood in the first place. I hate being treated as if I am incapable of thinking for myself, or taking on the world. I would rather they attacked me.

Time ticks by too slowly. Moments hang in the air. I am too tense, now, to go to sleep; I want to get up, to pace the length of this small room, to investigate the hangings on the wall and the small cracks in stone, but I doubt that the guard would allow me that much space. Instead I am forced to sit and wait.

It is hours, at the very least, before there is that same sound of a key rattling in the door, and Rallus pushes it open. Nodding meaningfully to the guard and to me, lips pressed into a tight line and expression closed off. I cannot read it, I do not know if this is good news or bad news. He does not explain, merely gestures for us to follow him out of the room and into the hall.

That same sea of eyes as we enter the conference chamber and I drop back down into that chair. I try to sit still, to seem unconcerned, certain that I am in the right and that all will turn out well, but I cannot stop the nervous little shifts, the sideways glances to their faces, the way my fingers tap together in my lap.

Of course, they are not much better off. There are glances exchanged, an air of expectancy, everyone looking to the King. He stares down at a sheet of paper and runs a hand over his forehead, studying the words on the page, perhaps trying to figure out how best to explain them. They have reached a decision, they would not have called me in here if they had not, but no one wants to admit to it. This is not a good sign.

"We are not going to exile you." Coming after a soft sigh, as Corbin's head lifts and he meets my eyes. I am not reassured by this statement; everyone is still twitchy, not quite willing to look directly at me or each other. And he does not continue, he lets that statement hang in the air for a moment, keeps me waiting.

"What are you going to do, then?" Not able to wait any longer. The Kings eyes do no flicker away nervously, but neither do they give anything away. I look instead to the young Prince, the only one in the room who is not hiding his face. He seems strangely bright, intense, there is a hint of a smile on his face. I still am not quite sure what to think.

"They are going to keep you here, as my teacher, but they are going to find another physician." Almost bouncing in his seat as he says it. Tumaire is obviously excited, delighted, leaning forward in his chair and on the table. I suspect that this is mostly his doing, that he is the one who convinced them to let me stay. He likely whined, or pouted, or pleaded, and won them over. They obviously still do not trust me.

"Under certain conditions. We are going to move you into a different wing of the castle, nearer to Lady Calidris. She has agreed to take responsibility for anything you do from here on out, so her duty will be to keep an eye on you." Looking sideways to Lady Calidris, Corbin's voice dull and flat. He is not comfortable with this arrangement, but it is merely on a personal level. He does not want me here for his own sake.

"You are not to go anywhere without telling her; no wandering away into the city, or into a far wing of the palace. I want her to be able to find you, in case anything happens, so that we can guarantee the safety of the Prince." The implication behind the words makes me boil, it makes me want to fight back, but that would only prove him right, to an extent. I can remain calm and neutral, if I need to, no matter how hard he pushes me.

"No more cloak, no more hiding what you are. And I want you to sit beside us at the daily courts, to feature as the other prince, so that no one thinks we are keeping you here in secret. I do not want them to think you are a danger, or for rumors to spread." Standing before I have a chance to answer, nodding a dismissal. If he sends me away quickly enough he believes that I cannot argue or plead, I cannot attempt to coax him out of his decision.

I have gone tense, panicking at the thought of those wings being bared all the time, always under the public eye. They are hideous and I hate them, I need to be able to hide them. I want to jump up and beg him to give me my cloak, so that I can keep my past to myself, but I force myself to sink down in the chair, to grasp at its arms, tense and trembling. I must remind myself that this is better than what it could have been, at least I still have my wings, at least I have not been sent away again.

The rest of the nobles rise and follow Corbin out, Tumaire moving reluctantly. I believe he wants to rejoice with me, he is proud of his small victory. While I appreciate the fact that he was willing to defend me, I also wish that things had turned out differently. I did not come back to fill the role of a prince, I never wanted to be seen. Now I do not have a choice.